


In The Shadows

by eurus_sangria



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cheating, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Jealousy, Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-07 08:15:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18869299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurus_sangria/pseuds/eurus_sangria
Summary: "Was he yours if he wanted me so bad?"





	1. Jealousy & Midnight Meal

She's here again. 

Wanda could feel _her_ presence like the annoying buzz of a mosquito lurking around her head. 

Along with it, Wanda could also sense _his_. She was not even using her powers at all. It just so happpens that Wanda could feel their auras as if mocking her, taunting her. 

She blocked them out and tried to get back to the movie she was watching. It was a really old movie she found catching dust in the storage room and Wanda _was_ enjoying it; but now, she did not seem to be in the mood anymore. Her mind was way too preoccupied to focus. 

Two pairs of footsteps walked in the living room. Wanda did not have to look to see who they were. She could hear them talking and laughing as they approached the couch where she was seated.

"Hey, Wanda?" 

It was Steve. Wanda looked up to see that Sharon was indeed beside him, his hands snaked around her waist. A lump formed on Wanda's throat as she faced the two. 

"Yes, Steve?" She then turned to the blonde woman and mustered a pseudo-genuine smile whom then returned the action. 

"Can you tell the others I'll be out tonight? Sharon and I haven't had a date in a while and I have some plans." Steve pulled her closer and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

It took every muscle in Wanda's body not to look away from the couple. Something clenched in her chest and her smile faltered a little at the sight infront of her. 

"Of course, I'll tell the others." Wanda's facade returned as she beamed at the couple. "You two have fun."

"Thanks, Wanda...and we will have fun, no doubt. Steve has a lot prepared for tonight, as I was told." Sharon responded, making Steve chuckle warmly beside her.

"Well, better be going now or our tickets will be for nothing." Steve glanced at his wrist watch as Sharon got ready to leave. He then turned to Wanda and gave a polite nod accompanied with a smile. 

"Bye, Wanda. Enjoy your movie."

Wanda watched as the pair went out of the room with their hands intertwined and a happy spring in their paces. 

She faced the television again and tried to focus on the black and white movie. Wanda sighed, frustrated, as she summoned the remote control telekinetically and smashed the off button, watching as the flat-screen TV go blank. 

Her mind kept drifting off to Steve. How he held Sharon close. How intense his eyes seemed to be fixed at her. 

A pang of what can only be hurt passed through Wanda. It spreaded from her chest to the very tips of her fingers. Wanda knew she had no right to feel this way. If anything, she should be happy that Steve finally had someone. But still, she could not shake off this ugly emotion that was eating her inside out. 

Wanda stood from the couch and headed to her room. She slammed the door with more force than necessary, the sound reverberating hollowly throughout the whole building. 

As if drained of all energy, she plopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

Wanda hated feeling this way. Of course, she'd known she liked the Captain not long after she became an official Avenger. There was just something about him that made Wanda feel very warm inside. Perhaps, it was his smile; that contagious smile of his that radiated genuinely, or maybe it was his constant desire to do good and be good to others. 

Either way, she had been aware that Steve was unavailable. Him being linked to Sharon Carter wasn't exactly secret. 

However, three months ago, Wanda had been sensing things. Specifically, things that Steve had been feeling that she unintentionally picked up on.

It started with her telepathically feeling someone's eyes following her constantly. She could feel a pair of eyes during meetings, lunch with the team and even during training. It wasn't until she allowed herself to use her powers did Wanda learn that it was Steve. 

Curious and intrigued, Wanda observed her leader closely. Steve would look away whenever she would catch him looking. He would always assign himself to do sparring with her even if other members of the team were available. This in itself did not prove anything but Wanda formulated a hunch based on her own assumptions. 

After an extensive debate with her conscience, Wanda finally unleashed her telepathic abilities a little and allowed herself access to Steve's head. Of course, Wanda did not poke around his memories but only lingered at very surface of his mind where the primal, day-to-day emotions lie.

What she saw shocked him beyond imagination. 

This time, Wanda was certain Steve harbored the same feelings as her.

She'd never been in a relationship before, much less liked someone as she liked Steve. In short, Wanda was absolutely and utterly clueless as to how to make the first move.

What Wanda didn't know was that she didn't have to. 

Weeks later, Steve introduced Sharon to the team. This time, labelling her as his girlfriend. 

Wanda vowed never to look into his mind again. Her hopes had been raised and crushed enough. 

***

She awoke to the sensation of her stomach growling, reminding her that she missed dinner. Mumbling, Wanda glanced at the digital alarm clock on her bedside table and saw that it was already past midnight.

She took a long, hot shower and changed into her nightgown before realizing that she should probably get something to eat in order to soothe her belly's protests. 

Wanda walked out of her room without even bothering to put on her robes. It was midnight. Everyone was sleeping. She was certain she could walk around the building in only her nightie without a problem. 

As expected, the whole living quarter was deserted. Wanda went to the kitchen and decided to just have cereal and maybe some decaf coffee. 

As she was pouring milk to her bowl, the door to the kitchen opened and Steve emerged from it. His hair was windswept and he was still dressed in his casual clothes. He seemed to have just returned from his date.

Wanda immediately looked down, not that she didn't want to initiate the conversation but more on because she didn't know how to. After Steve started dating Sharon months ago, Wanda found it hard to talk to him alone without her feeling awkward about it. 

Steve took off his leather jacket and hung it on a chair. It was then that he saw her standing by the counter. 

"Wanda? What are you doing up?" 

"Midnight meal. I missed dinner." Wanda stirred the contents of her bowl, her appetite now gone. With an effort, she then asked, "How was your date?"

As he got nearer, Steve's cheeks visibly flushed upon realizing what Wanda was wearing. Her nightgown was white silk with a promiscuously low neckline, showing the curve of her breasts nicely and a skirt that went over her mid-thigh. Steve, being the gentleman that he was, looked away as his ears turned red. 

Upon seeing his reaction, Wanda inaudibly cursed herself for being stupid not to bring her robe. She shifted uncomfortably now that she felt rather exposed. 

"It was great. We saw a musical, had dinner then just roamed around the city." 

Steve gave Wanda one last glance before tearing his eyes away shyly. He then startes rummaging the contents of the fridge. His hands grabbed a can of beer, popped it open and took a swig from it.

"That does sound lovely, Steve." Wanda mumbled mostly to herself as she subconsciously imagined her in Sharon's position. Jealousy once again welled from the pit of her stomach. 

"Sharon thought so too. I'm glad Hill gave us the tickets for that musical."

Wanda did not respond and just continued to shove spoonful after spoonful of her cereal, eager to go back to her room where she didn't have to listen to Steve ramble about his date. 

Steve stood opposite her on the counter and eyed the meager contents of her bowl with slightly furrowed brows. 

"Is that cereal you're eating?"

The countertop's width is narrow, meaning that the space between the two of them is no more than two feet. Wanda can smell the faintest trace of his musk cologne and something resembling a woman's perfume. Probably Sharon's. 

"It's the best I can have at the moment. I'm not in the mood to cook."

Wanda cannot look at him without feeling embarrassed about her state of underdress. Certainly, she was not comfortable with Steve or anyone to see her in such a way. All she wanted to do at the moment was run as fast as her bare feet could take her away from him. 

"That's not gonna fill you up, Wanda." Steve shook his head lightly before tipping his head back for one final sip of beer. 

"This will do for now." Wanda responded as she stirred the bowl lazily. 

The silence that ensued was a mix between comfortable and _tense_. Wanda ate her cereal slowly, forcing herself to swallow the not-so-appetizing concoction. Every once in a while, she would look at Steve only to find him watching her eat, his face disapproving. 

When the silence was getting more awkward than comfortable did Steve speak up. 

"That's not gonna do, Wanda. You wait here."

She watched, curious, as he made his way to the fridge and took out some eggs and sausage. He went over to the stove and grabbed a pan. Realizing what he was doing, Wanda abandoned her cereal bowl and walked toward Steve, the cold floor chilling her bare feet. 

"Steve, really, you don't have to." Wanda stood a feet from him, significantly shorter due to her absence of footwear. 

By this time, Steve had already turned on the stove. 

"Wanda, you need real nutrition. You didn't eat dinner, right? That cereal you're eating is nothing but processed sugar and empty carbs."

"But-"

"No buts." Steve pointed a spatula he got from the mini drawer and offered a grin. "I'm your captain and that's an order."

An involuntary chuckle escaped from Wanda's mouth at his words.

"Now, do you want your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?"

Wanda cannot help but smile back. "Scrambled, please."

Steve whisked two eggs together and poured into the hot pan. "Coming right up."

Wanda just stood there, watching him cook her a meal. He looked so focused on his task even though it was such an easy one. Steve's brows furrowed ever so slightly as he tipped the pan on a plate, careful not to spill anything. 

He was undoubtedly a very attractive man, Wanda found herself thinking--but as he basked in the halo of the kitchen light, hunched over a pan and cooking eggs and sausage, Wanda thought he hadn't looked more handsome. Her heart fluttered at the thought. 

"Steve?" 

"Yes?" He responded without taking his eyes off the sausage he was flipping. 

"Thank you."

This time, Steve looked at her, his eyes locking with hers. 

Wanda didn't even need to use her telepathic abilities. She could see a subtle twinkle in his piercingly blue eyes. 

However, as soon as she saw it, it disappeared. 

"You're very welcome." Steve tore his gaze away from Wanda and cleared his throat, his smile now gone. 

He plated her meal and grabbed a fork before handing the steaming plate to Wanda who once again thanked him. Steve busied himself with cleaning the pan he used, unaware of Wanda eyeing him worriedly.

Uncertain of what to do, Wanda just returned to her spot on the counter and began digging in her hot meal. It certainly was better than the cereal she had been forcing herself to eat. 

"I'm gonna go to bed now, Wanda." Steve said as he dried his hands with paper towel. 

"Alright. Good night, Steve." She gave him a small smile. "Thanks again for this." 

"Anytime." Steve responded. There was a pause before he said the following:

"I make breakfast at six-thirty, sometimes earlier than that-- that is if you want me to cook for you again." Steve gave a soft chuckle before taking his jacket which was hung on the chair and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Good night, Wanda."

With this, Steve left the kitchen without giving Wanda the opportunity to respond to his breakfast invitation. 

***

Wanda stared into nothingness once she was comfortably tucked into bed. She was pondering on what happened in the kitchen; Steve cooking for her and him inviting her for breakfast in the morning.

Of course, she thought about joining Steve for some toast and bacon but some things held her back. For one, the guy had a girlfriend, for goodness' sake! 

Judging that she had feelings for Steve, to be alone with him even just for trivial things such as breakfast, was something that did not sit well with her conscience. Wanda was not the type of girl to go after taken men. 

Then again, it was just breakfast. It was not like Steve asked her out on a date or something of that sort. 

_It would be just between friends_ , she thought to herself. 

As if on autopilot, she reached for her digital clock and set an alarm for 5:45 am.

Sinking back on her pillow, she closed her eyes and tried to succumb into deep sleep only to find herself dreaming about a certain blonde by the name of Steve Rogers.


	2. Good Mornings & Dirty Dishes

Wanda awoke with a start, her eyes automatically flying to the alarm clock on her bedside table.

To her surprise, the clock was not there. It was, however, on the floor a few feet away with its batteries scattered around it. Now that Wanda had shaken off sleep, she now vaguely recalled hurling the poor device with her powers as it rudely blared at 5:45.

 _I'm definitely not a morning person_ , she mused quietly as she picked up the clock and put it back where it belonged. It now read 6:39 am after the batteries had been added. 

She groaned, frustrated. So much for breakfast with Steve. 

Wanda was uncertain what to do now. Usually, she comes down for breakfast at around 8 am, like the rest of the team with the exception of Steve and on occasions, Sam. 

She looked out of the window and saw the newly-risen sun blanketing the Avengers compound with its beautiful glow. The well-kept lawn glistened with morning dew and everything seemed peaceful. 

Making up her mind, Wanda grabbed her running shoes from her walk-in closet, a pair of black leggings and a maroon sports bra. She might as well take advantage of the time she has and take a jog around the compound. 

It took her a couple minutes to freshen up and change before she was out of her room and out of the building. 

Wanda did not even bother to stretch as she began her run, or in her case, light jog. She was in shape and physically fit but her endurance certainly was not in its best. 

She hadn't even gotten around the compound when he heard another pair of running feet behind her. By the sound of things, whoever was racing her was _fast_. 

Before Wanda could turn her head to see who it was, Steve was already dashing past her. 

"Good morning, Wanda." He said without even so much as a strain in his voice. Wanda could have greeted him back but he was already out of earshot after two seconds. 

As she circled around her starting point, she could now feel beads of sweat trickling down her face in annoying streaks. It didn't take long before she once again heard the telltale sound of Steve's arrival. 

"On your left."

"Good morning, Steve." Wanda panted out the late response to his earlier greeting. She saw the blonde look over his shoulder and briefly nodding in acknowledgement. 

As expected, his super soldier speed did not disappoint. He was out of sight ten seconds later and back before Wanda could begin her third lap.

Wanda exerted more effort and willed her legs to go faster as she heard his racing feet behind her. Of course, it was futile because Steve was overtaking her again. This time, with a smug grin on his face. 

"On your left."

Her feet felt like rubber as she stopped, her hands resting on her knees. 

"Show off!" Wanda shouted, vaguely amused and irritated at the same time. Even from a distance, she could see his shoulders rising as he laughed. 

At this point, Wanda could only walk, catching her breath as she did so. The last time she went out for a run was when Natasha insisted that the initiates; namely, her, Sam, Vision and Rhodey get into shape for the mandatory training slash torture the redhead cooked up for them. On a side note, the rest of the initiates hated Vision because of his inability to get tired.

When Wanda heard Steve approaching again, she turned around and walked backwards, watching as the Captain run with a speed that would make a horse jealous.

Steve slowed down as he approached Wanda and stopped infront of her. His breathing was only a little bit faster than normal and he was showing no sign of tiredness. If it weren't for his sweat-drenched black t-shirt, one would have thought he had just gone for a walk.

"What happened? Collapsed lung?"

There was a playful drawl in his tone that would have annoyed Wanda had she not found his accompanying smirk irresistibly charming. 

"If I run any longer, it just might." She breathed a laugh as she clutched at the subtle stitch on her side.

Steve's eyes followed Wanda's hand, his smirk turning into a concerned frown. 

"You okay?"

"I'll live." Wanda shrugged before thinking out loud, "I really should start an endurance training. I feel like I'm gonna die if I run one more lap."

Steve's laugh made her already wobbly legs more unstable. The sound was genuine, not faked or forced but pure _amusement_ and Wanda found herself laughing along. 

"This is the first time I've seen you run without Nat supervising you like a hawk." Steve now walked beside Wanda, his strides longer than hers so she had to speed walk in order to keep up. 

"Yeah, well, I woke up early. I had nothing to do." Wanda said truthfully. "Still, I may or may not do this again."

"You know, I run every morning. Sam used to run with me but he now prefers the treadmill." Steve said as he proceeded in doing cooldown stretches while walking.

"You're welcome to join me if you wake up early enough." He added that last part with an apprehensive grin. 

There it is again. That warm feeling spreading from Wanda's body. She looked at Steve whose blue eyes connected with hers and she was rendered speechless for a moment. 

Steve wanted her to accompany him every morning. Wanda pondered on that thought a little too long before finding her voice.

"That's actually a really great idea." She nodded, a grin forming uncontrollably on her lips. "Nat's gonna be proud once she hears I'm getting more active. She's been pestering me about it. Perhaps, this will shut her up."

The two of them shared a laugh; a genuine, warm one that made her facial muscles hurt.

"If you want her to get off your back, try beating her one-on-one." Steve said with a light chuckle. 

"That's impossible, Steve. She's Black Widow for a reason. Fighting, for her, is like a walk in the park. She can do it with eyes closed." Wanda shivered as she remembered that one time when she sparred with Nat and she her whole body got sore for three days straight.

"Can't argue with that." Steve laughed. "I always say that I may be the leader but Nat is the iron fist that keeps the team together."

"She's like a mother to us all, isn't she?" Wanda's chuckle synchronized with his. 

The pair continued to talk about random things after that as they walked around the compound, the idea of resuming their run now lost. 

Wanda couldn't remember a time after Pietro's death when she talked with someone whom she was unafraid to show her real self to. Steve noticed this bubblier, more unwinded version of Wanda and he was honestly happy to see her smile and laugh after months of being a complete loner. 

"So, I'll be expecting you tomorrow, then?" Steve asked once they made their way toward the frontdoor. 

"I believe so. Though, I have to warn you that I tend to sleep in."

Exactly like a true gentleman, Steve opened the door and let Wanda in. The airconditioned interior of the Avengers facility cooled her sweat-slicked skin instantly.

"Well, then, I shouldn't probably get my hopes up."

"Don't worry, I'll be there." Wanda said assuringly, more to herself than to Steve, once she stopped by the elevator and pushed the level where the personal quarters were. 

"Steve, aren't you going up?" She asked when the elevator door opened and Steve was still not getting in. Her hand stopped the door from closing once she was inside. 

"No, I still have to head over to the training room and box with Sam."

"Alright, then. See you tomorrow?"

Steve shook his head with a mirthful laugh. "You'll be seeing me later in the training room. 10 am sharp. Remember?"

"Oh, right. I've totally forgotten about that." Wanda made a face as she recalled the mandatory team training. "Later, then?"

"Yeah, and don't be late." Steve pointed a finger at her playfully as he slowly backed away before walking to the direction of the training room. 

As the transparent elevator door closed, Wanda briefly saw Steve look back over his shoulders, watching her ascend. 

***

"I'm in mood for pizza. How 'bout we order some for lunch?" Sam asked as he put his gears inside his locker. 

The team had just finished today's training and everyone was exhausted except for Steve and Vision who both seemed incapable of feeling it. Even Natasha was leaning by her locker door for support as she steadied her racing breath. 

"Three cheese, please. Stuffed crust if they make those." Rhodey breathed with an effort, wiping the copious amount of sweat from his forehead.

"Don't forget pepperoni with mushrooms, Sam." Steve added as he cleared the discarded weapons on the floor. 

"How about you Wanda and Nat? Anything you'd like me to order?" Sam then glanced at Vision as he remembered the android. "I would've asked you too, Vision, but I know you don't eat, so--"

"I prefer pasta, but whatever." Natasha shrugged, unrolling her had wraps.

"I'll have whatever you guys are having." Wanda spoke from her position on the floor being too tired to even stand. 

"The usual, then?" Sam fished his phone from within his locker and tapped their orders on the pizzeria's online site. 

Once everyone had stowed away their gears and weapons, they dispersed to their personal quarters to shower before meeting in the dining room for lunch with the exception of Vision. 

Two boxes of pizza and an order of pesto pasta for Natasha arrived and the team ate their lunch in silence, all of them too drained from the new and ultra realistic battle simulation designed by Stark who didn't even show up for training. 

After everyone had eaten their fill, they all looked at each other and at the dirty plates infront of them, secretly debating who would do the dishes this time. 

Before Sam could challenge everyone with a round of "rock, paper, scissors", Wanda stood from her chair and started collecting the plates. 

Natasha stood up too and helped her clear the table. However, before they could put the dishes in the sink, Nat's phone rang and she had to excuse herself, leaving Wanda to wash the dishes alone. 

She didn't really mind. Wanda liked cleaning, plus there weren't many dirty plates to wash. In a way, it also reminded her of her and Pietro's difficult yet simple life back in Sokovia where they used to take turns doing chores. A smile unknowingly tugged up her lips as she reminisced the good old days.

Lost in her thoughts, Wanda did not hear footsteps approaching, much less the door open and close. 

It was only when someone spoke beside her did she turn to see who it was.

"We should conserve water, you know."

Steve was standing on her right, hands dug on his pants pocket and a smile on his lips. He nodded at the running water and Wanda's cheek blushed as she realized she had just been standing there with the faucet open. 

"Sorry." She muttered sheepishly as she absent-mindedly continued with the task at hand. 

Steve studied her for a moment, noting Wanda's furrowed brows and the sad gleam in her eyes. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" He finally said as he grabbed a clean cloth on the counter and started drying plates. Wanda stayed quiet, obviously unsure whether to speak or not. 

Wanda then shook her head lightly. "It's nothing."

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Steve pressed on with a careful tone.

She stole a glance at him before sighing, giving up. "I-It's just that even the smallest things like washing the dishes reminds me of Pietro."

Steve remained silent for a second, eyes trained on her before saying, "You two really had a very special bond."

"Well, he _was_ my twin brother after all." Wanda smiled sadly as he handed the final plate for Steve to dry, turning off the tap as she did so. 

"Up to this day, I still can't believe he's gone. It just _hurts_ thinking about Sokovia, about Ultron, about his death." She added with a shaky sigh as she turned her back on the sink and leaning against it.

Steve copied her position, his arms crossed over his chest. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak..

"My Ma would always say that whenever someone dies, we shouldn't grieve for them."

Wanda looked up at him, head tilted in question. 

"She said that we should be happy and thankful, that we should celebrate their lives because they got the chance to be part of ours."

Steve's smile was assuring, though his eyes were glazed with what could only be sadness. His voice was barely above whisper when he continued to speak. 

"My point is, Pietro died a hero, Wanda." He added, causing a tear to roll down Wanda's cheek. "We should celebrate his heroism."

Wanda found herself cheering up a bit at his words as she wiped her cheek. 

"You're right." Wanda murmured softly. "Still, I can't help but grieve. I miss him so much and I think I'll always will."

"Grief and love are two sides of a coin, Wanda. This just shows how much you loved your brother." 

More tears started streaming down her face but there was a smile forming on her lips as she sniffed. Wanda had not been the most open person in the world but with Steve, she just felt more comfortable that she was willing to put down her walls and let him see her in her most vulnerable form. 

"Thank you, Steve." It came out as a watery croak, her voice cracking. "I really appreciate you listening."

"Anytime." He smiled warmly. "Know that my door's always open for you whenever you need someone to talk to."

Perhaps, it was those words that triggered irrationality in Wanda. It took her a second to comprehend what was happening. Wanda moved as if her hand had a mind of its own. She wasn't aware of it until the sensation of his hand under hers snapped her from her dazed mind. 

Her eyes followed where their hands joined and she froze, not knowing what to do. Alarm bells started ringing hollowly inside her head, telling her to move away, reminding her that it wasn't right-- that Steve has a girlfriend and she has no right to even be holding his hand. 

Wanda was about to move away when Steve's other hand clasped  over hers, keeping it in place. 

Their eyes met right after that and time itself seemed to have stopped. 

This lasted for a couple of seconds before logic took reign and she moved her hand away, berating herself internally as she saw Steve's confusion. 

"S-sorry. I didn't know what I was-"

But Wanda didn't get to finish her sentence. Steve had enveloped her in a comforting embrace, his right hand pulling her closer to his chest. He was whispering some words but she was too shocked to even listen. 

Paralyzed by the warmth of his body, Wanda didn't move for a moment. It was only a matter of seconds before she melted into his arms, giving in to the comfort that he offered.

Even then, she wasn't aware of her tears soaking the front of his shirt or her quiet sobs racking her entire body. She just knew that Steve was holding her close and that she'd never felt safer in a long time. 

However, there was this little voice inside her head screaming for her to pull away. _What are you doing?_ , it asked. _Stop this or you'll regret it later._

There would be a point when Wanda would pull away. She would excuse herself without looking at him and would lock herself in her bedroom. She would lie in her bed hating herself for being too weak-willed to resist the temptation Steve unknowingly presented. She would cry pathetically because, God forbid it, she couldn't forget the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her body and it physically hurt her to think that it will not happen again.

However, all that mattered to Wanda at the moment was the heat radiating from his body, lulling her into content.


	3. Silent Confession

Wanda was awake even before her alarm clock went off. She had been thinking about the events of yesterday, about _Steve_ , for the majority of the night and she had very little sleep. 

With a flick of her wrist, she turned off the alarm clock telekinetically but did not get up from bed. In all honesty, she wasn't sure if she wanted to go running with Steve today. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see Steve at all. 

With an effort, Wanda got up and walked toward the window where the light-orange tint of the rising sun was spilling through. She could see Steve running from a distance, his super soldier speed rendering him almost a blur. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she tore her gaze away from him. 

In her mind, Wanda was thinking she had crossed a line when she shared that hug with Steve. Her conscience had been nagging her about it and she thought that it wasn't right for her to seek comfort from someone whom she couldn't have. 

Then again, Steve was just being a supportive friend and leader. Perhaps, Wanda had been overthinking the situation to the point that she was willing to give up their friendship. 

She pondered upon this thought for a moment and groaned, annoyed at herself before grabbing her running shoes and a change of clothes. Wanda could not risk ruining her friendship with Steve just because she had a little crush on him.

A few minutes later, she was already out of the front door and doing some sloppy warm-up stretches. She saw Steve wave at her as he spotted her from afar and Wanda felt her heart race at that simple gesture as she waved back weakly. 

Trying not to think anything more than keeping her breathing steady, Wanda stepped onto the track and ran on a moderate pace that it resembled a jog. 

The super soldier slowed down a bit just in time for him to greet Wanda a good morning before going again to full acceleration. She did not have a chance to greet him back as she found his speed increasing drastically as if a pack of wolves was going after him. 

The two of them continued running around the perimeter, though obviously on different energy levels. Wanda panted, almost wheezed, just as she made her fifth lap and her pace became significantly slower than his. Steve, on the other hand, did not show any signs of slowing down as if he physically couldn't even if he tried. 

Only when the sun climbed up higher and became hotter did Wanda stop in the middle of the track, shivering as droplets of sweat rolled down her body.

She felt Steve stop beside her, his face flushed red due to the heat and his blonde hair plastered to his forehead.

Steve walked beside her in silence, drinking from the water bottle he would always run with. 

"Water?" He offered the bottle to Wanda who graciously accepted. 

"Thanks." Wanda opened the cap but instead of bringing it to her lips, she raised it over her head and let the cool water cascade down her body.

She heard Steve gave a throaty chuckle beside her as she wiped both water and sweat from her face. 

"I used it all up. Sorry about that." Wanda handed the now empty bottle back to him. 

"Don't worry about it." Steve shrugged. "Though, it ain't a bad idea to bring your own water tomorrow." 

That last part could have made Wanda laugh if only she wasn't still awkward from yesterday's happenings. Instead, she gave a small smile as she nodded. 

"Noted, Captain."

They walked in complete silence, the only sounds disturbing it were the soft thud of their shoes and the voices of the arriving agents that worked in the compound. 

It wasn't until she felt him staring did she look up to meet his eyes. 

"What is it, Steve?"

Steve looked away, his eyes trained ahead. He shook his head lightly, a sheepish smile accompanying it. 

"Nothing."

Wanda raised her brow lightly at his weird behavior but decided not to press more into it.

Then, as if on autopilot, she felt her mouth move and heard her own voice breaking the silence.

"Steve?"

"Yes?"

She bit her bottom lip, debating with herself whether or not to continue talking. Wanda felt that if she talked some more, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from saying something that she would later regret.

"I really did appreciate you being there for me yesterday. It helped me a lot."

Steve looked at her and offered a smile as if her sudden burst of sentiment was not weird at all. 

"Like I've told you yesterday, you can always come to me whenever you need a friend." He paused before speaking again. "I mean it, Wanda. We're all here for you. _I'm_ here for you."

Wanda felt a lump in her throat as she nodded, smiling sadly as she did so. 

"That's good to know, Steve."

"So, are you okay now?" He asked with a careful tone. 

"Yeah, I am." 

It came off as a sigh and even Wanda did not believe her own words. She looked up at Steve who was eyeing her seriously as if daring her to continue with her lie. 

"What?" She asked, confused. 

"Something's still bothering you, Wanda. I can see it written all over your face."

Wanda forced a laugh at his semi-correct assumption, shaking her head for emphasis. _Damn_ , Wanda thought. How could he possibly know? 

"I'm fine now, Steve. Honestly, I am."

Steve continued giving her that look that meant he didn't believe a word she just uttered. Sighing, he stopped walking, his hands resting on his hips as he faced the woman infront of him. 

"Wanda," Steve's tone was serious and she found herself unable to look him in the eye. "What is it?"

"Steve, it's really nothing."

"You've been really distracted since yesterday. It can't be nothing" His voice shifted into concern. "Is it still about Pietro?"

Wanda sighed as she shook her head. "No, it's not about Pietro."

"Vision?"

Wanda looked up at him in disbelief and shook her head again, this time more violently. "Why would it be about Vision?"

She noticed pink strips appear on both his cheeks as he blinked stupidly. "I just thought that maybe... you and him, you know..."

Wanda arched her brow, waiting for Steve to continue. He looked very uncomfortable and he didn't quite meet her eyes when he spoke again. 

"Never mind."

"Wait, you think I _like_ Vision?" Wanda asked with so much incredulity that she almost laughed. 

"Well, no. It's actually the other way around." Steve responded, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. 

Wanda's forehead scrunched as she digested this new information. Never would she have thought that Vision of all people likes her. Honestly, she wasn't even sure the android was capable of such feelings.

"Vision likes me?" She finally asked and she saw Steve nod hesitantly.

"It shouldn't be coming from me, but yeah."

"Did Vision tell you?"

This time, it was Steve who stared at her as if she just said the most stupid thing. 

"He didn't have to. It's really _kinda_ obvious, Wanda." Steve said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"And no, he told Sam and Sam told everyone except you, apparently."

Her lips formed into an "o", not quite sure what to say. 

"I thought you knew, Wanda. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, Steve. I'll just pretend I didn't hear anything." 

Wanda gave him a smile for the sake.of reassurance. She was still deep in thought as she continued walking again, Steve following her pace. She heard Steve speak again after about a minute of silence. 

"So, if it's not Vision, what's been bothering you, then?"

Wanda sighed almost exasperatedly, realizing that Steve wouldn't let this one go. 

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." 

She looked up at him and noticed those bright blue eyes watching her intently. Wanda let out a breath before she could hear herself speaking.

"Steve, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"What would you do if you really want something but you know you can't have it?" 

_There_ , Wanda thought. She was officially far in too deep to back out now. All she could do at the moment was wait for Steve to respond with bated breath. 

"That depends on how important that thing you want is to you." Steve spoke after a second of thinking. "If you think it's important enough and worth every risk, I say you should fight for it."

"But what if I shouldn't? What if it's wrong to do so?"

Steve remained silent for a couple of seconds as his forehead scrunched in thought. Finally, he said a single sentence that made quite the impact to Wanda.

"Some things are worth being wrong for, Wanda."

However, instead of clearing up her emotional turmoil, Wanda felt even more lost. If only Steve knew what he was giving his advice for, he would probably have adviced differently.

All of a sudden, Wanda surprised herself when she thought about confessing her feelings right then and there. At that very second, Wanda _ached_ to spill her heart out to him. Perhaps, if she did so, this silent torment she had been feeling would go away. _Perhaps_.

There can only be one way to find out.

Logic had left her entirely as the words formed on her lips, ready to be uttered. Her mouth opened and she was about to speak-

However, she stopped herself at the very last minute.

It wasn't the right time to confess to him. Then again, there probably wouldn't be any _right_ time anytime soon. Wanda seemed to have forgotten that Steve already had a girlfriend and her confession would most likely put an unfixable dent in the foundations of her relationship with him.

Then, Wanda did something stupid, _crucially_ stupid. 

She had not been thinking with her brain but rather with her pent up emotions that suddenly erupted like a volcano. 

Instead of voicing out her confession, Wanda had put a _thought_ in Steve's mind, as if she had whispered to him telephatically. 

_**I like you, Steve, but I can't have you.**_

The moment she realized she was doing it was the moment she regretted everything.

Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at Wanda, confusion evident on his face as her projected thought rang inside his skull. 

She saw Steve's mouth open and close, unsure whether to speak or not.

It did not even cross Steve's mind that it could be Wanda who was responsible for the sudden telepathic message. She had  made the thought subtle enough so he wouldn't know right away that it was her inside his head.

"Wanda? Did you-...?" 

Steve was looking at her differently, suspicion present in his tone once he had made his assumption. Who else could it be but Wanda? 

"Did I what, Steve?"

Wanda played the innocent card, acting as though she didn't know what he was talking about.

"T-there was something...in my head. I heard it, and-" He stammered as he touched his temples lightly. 

"Maybe it's just your imagination." 

"I swear, Wanda. I _heard_ something."

"What did you hear?" Wanda asked, knowing full well he wouldn't answer.

"I- I don't remember anymore." The lie escaped his lips with hesitance. 

"Well, then, it's probably nothing." She fake-shrugged, avoiding eye contact. 

"Yeah,". He nodded slowly, his piercing eyes not leaving Wanda's.  "Probably."

The two of them didn't say anything after that and just stood in the middle of the track while the sun climbed ever higher. Finally, Steve cleared his thoat and spoke. 

"I should go now. Sam's probably already waiting for me in the training room."

Wanda nodded and mustered a small smile that did not quite reach her eyes.

She watched him jog back into the building without so much as a glance back at her direction. 

" _Fuck_ " Wanda whispered angrily to herself as she cradled her head with her hands. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ "

Tears started welling in her eyes and she had to bite the insides of her cheek to stop herself from crying right then. However, her efforts were futile as the tears spilled in a continuous stream. 

She cried for the burning self-hatred she was feeling. She cried for how much of a coward she had been. 

But mostly, she cried because there was a chance she had ruined her friendship with Steve for good. 

***


	4. Now You Know

Wanda stood in the shower, eyes focused blankly on the tile patterns adorning the bathroom wall. Her mind kept replaying what she had done earlier this morning and everytime she did so, she felt sick that she wanted to run to the toilet and throw up. 

She knew that Steve somehow knew that it was her who put that thought. He's not stupid. Of course, he was gonna know. 

Wanda's main concern right now was how to make things right. She shouldn't have done what she did. She shouldn't have told him her feelings, telepathically or otherwise. 

But the thing is, Wanda didn't know how to right her wrong. As far she knows, what's done is done and there is no way of erasing the past without her forcefully erasing that chunk in Steve's memory. Wanda didn't want to do that last part. She had played around in other people's mind enough. 

Wanda turned off the shower, wrapped herself in towel and stepped out of the bathroom to change. The neon red light of her clock told her that it was already 9 in the morning which meant that the rest of the team were either eating breakfast or already done with it. She decided not to leave her room for the time being. After all, there were no scheduled training for the day and she _really_ didn't want to see Steve. 

With nothing to do but to stay in her room, Wanda turned on the small television that she rarely uses and flicked through the channels with half interest. Finally, she settled to watch a sitcom that she probably would have enjoyed had she actually been paying attention to what she was watching. 

After a few hours, she looked over to the clock and saw that it was almost lunch time. 

She suddenly remembered that she hadn't eaten since breakfast and hunger kicked in. Making up her mind, Wanda turned off the television and changed into a more appropriate attire.

However, after she had opened her door, a voice behind her stopped her in her tracks. 

"Wanda,"

She knew that it was Steve even before she turned to look. He was outside his own room, leaning with his back on the doorframe and his hands shoved down his pockets. 

Steve's room was at the end of the hall whereas hers was right in the middle. The distance between them was not great but it was enough for Steve not to hear Wanda curse loudly in Sokovian under her breath. 

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

Steve walked toward her in a pace that was so painfully slow for Wanda. He looked down at her, his face poker yet stern. 

"You know what."

Wanda gulped, tearing her eyes away from him before completely opening her door and beckoning for him inside. 

"Come on in."

She let him pass through first before following him and closing the door behind them. Wanda noticed her hands shaking as she turned the knob and she knew that Steve noticed too but said nothing about it. To say she was scared was an understatement. She was _petrified_.

Wanda stayed silent, her eyes fixed on the ground. She didn't know what to say even if she wanted to speak. 

"Was it you?"

Steve asked and she could feel him staring but dared not to look up at him.

There was no point in lying, Wanda thought. If she was going to set everything right, she might as well tell him the truth. 

"Yes, it was me." 

This time, she met his gaze. Steve's expression was blank but Wanda could feel a shift in his emotions. It was as if he knew the truth and yet he was still surprised. 

"Why?"

Wanda furrowed her brows in confusion at his reply. 

"What do you mean _why_?"

"Why did you do it?"

She didn't know what to tell him after that. To be perfectly honest with herself, she wasn't sure why she had confessed to him. It was simply the spur of the moment, the sudden need to open up her feelings. She clearly wasn't thinking when she did it and there was nothing to justify her action. 

"I- I don't know, Steve." 

Wanda answered truthfully, shaking her head lightly. It wasn't the answer Steve wanted to hear because she heard him sigh under his breath as he looked away. He didn't speak for a moment and Wanda could sense the confusion inside his head as if he was debating with himself what to say next. 

"Did you mean it?" 

His voice was low when he finally spoke. Blue eyes were trained on his shoes and his brows were knitted together as he waited for her reply. 

"Yes, I did." Wanda did not hesitate to answer, though deep inside, she knew that she should have lied. 

Steve raised his head and looked at her, his expression still unreadable though with a hint of something Wanda couldn't quite put her finger on. 

"Look, Wanda, you know that I have-"

"I _know_ that you have a girlfriend, Steve. What I did was stupid and I'm sorry."

Wanda heard him let out a breath as he leaned against the door. His fingers ran through his hair and Wanda sensed emotional turmoil in him. Why he was feeling that way, Wanda didn't know. 

"You shouldn't have done that, Wanda."

"I know."

"You _shouldn't_ have done that." He repeated, this time with voice raised and a cold look in his eyes.

Wanda felt hot tears roll down her face as she looked away from the intensity of his gaze. She had done it now, she thought. She had oficially ruined their friendship, the one thing that had brought her comfort since Pietro's death. If there was anything she could do to reverse the damage, Wanda would happily do so; but by the looks of things, there was no turning back from this. 

"I understand if you're angry right now." Wanda managed to say though it came out as a watery croak. 

Steve's expression softened upon hearing the pain in her voice and he blinked, confused, when he realized she was crying. 

"I'm not angry, Wanda." He said, causing Wanda to look up at him. 

"W-why not?."

"I can't explain it."

"Try, then."

Steve looked as if he was lost for words. He was opening his mouth as if to speak and closing it right after. 

Wanda waited for his response with bated breath. 

"I don't know how to put it to words." Steve finally said. 

Then, Wanda felt his hand grab hers and guide it to his temple. She felt her breath hitch as she realized what he was asking her to do. 

"Look." His voice was soft yet commanding, his hand keeping hers in place.

"Steve-?"

"Just look, Wanda."

Wanda felt her head nod slowly, hesitantly, before wisps of scarlet flow from her fingertips and onto his temple. She closed her eyes, readying herself to enter his mind. 

She had known before that Steve somehow had feelings for her that go beyond friendship. However, no one could have prepared her for what she was seeing at the moment. 

Wanda saw _herself_ in a whole new different light as she continued roaming around his head. There was admiration, affection and, dare she say it-- _lust_. 

These feelings were so potent and strong that it made Wanda open her eyes only to see his blue ones watching her intently. 

"Now you know."

Steve moved her hand away from his head but continued holding it as his other hand moved to wipe the tears away from her cheek.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Wanda asked, still reeling from what she'd seen. 

"I didn't want to."

"What do you mean?" She pressed, desperation evident in her voice. 

"I was scared of many things, Wanda." He answered, stepping closer to her so she had to crane her neck up more. "I told myself that it wouldn't work out."

"How would you know it wouldn't work out?" Wanda choked back a sob in frustration. "We never even tried, Steve!"

"To have a relationship in our line of work, Wanda, it's not-" Steve hesitated for a split second. "It's not possible."

" _You_ don't know that."

"I couldn't risk it." He quietly said as he took a step back.

"Risk what?"

Steve shook his head as if he didn't want to answer her. There was a few seconds of palpable tension before he did speak. 

"Falling in love again." 

Wanda blinked, surprised. That certainly was not what she was expecting. 

"Is that really a bad thing?" She stepped forward, closing the gap between them. She could feel Steve tense but did not move from his spot.

"Wanda, we can't pursue whatever this is-- not in this job." 

"We can." She almost scoffed. "You're just holding back."

Wanda felt two strong hands on either of her shoulders. "Listen to me, Wanda. Stop this, please...for both of our sakes. I'm with Sharon now and-"

"Sharon?" She stepped back, angry tears threatening to spill. "How is your relationship with Sharon any different than you and me being together?"

"It _is_ different. Sharon is...she is-"

"Normal?" Wanda finished his sentence with a pained tone.

"Wanda, you have to understand," Steve tilted her chin so she was looking up at him. "I want a family in the future-- finally settle down, have a stable life. You and me, we can't have that."

Tears flowed freely from Wanda's eyes as she realized that he was right. 

Even if they did have mutual feelings for each other, there was no way they could be together in the terms that Steve wanted. This job they have, being an Avenger and laying down their lives for the world; it just doesn't permit them to do so. 

Maybe with Sharon, Steve can finally get the life he's always been dreaming of; that slice of reality being an Avenger deprive him of.

She felt herself nodding slowly, defeated. There was nothing she could say that would help her win this argument. 

"Do you love her?"

"She's caring and loyal-"

"Yes, but do you _love_ her?"

Steve remained silent for a second.

"I can learn to."

New tears stung her eyes upon hearing his answer and she looked down, letting the tears fall down on the floor. 

She didn't even realize that she had turned the knob and opened the door for him. 

"Please, leave. I want to be left alone." 

"Wanda, I-"

" _Leave._ "

Steve stepped out of the room but held the door open, his strength stopping Wanda to shut it close.

"I'm sorry.", was all he said before he let the door free, making the door close with a resonating bang.

He stood outside her room, listening to the broken sobs on the other side of the door.


	5. Guilt-Ridden

Wanda spent the rest of the day locked up inside her room. She didn't come down for lunch and dinner even after Vision knocked on her door to ask her what's wrong. 

She had opened the door to the android, her eyes puffy from all the crying she'd been doing, and told him that everything's fine and that he need not be worried. Vision insisted that he stayed but Wanda had slammed the door on his face with so much force that everyone in the building heard it echoing throughout the premise. 

That night, Wanda sat by the window and watched the full moon ascend its way up the horizon. Her mind drifted to Pietro and how he could have reacted if he knew that she'd been losing her mind over a boy. He would be furious, no doubt; but most importantly, he would be there for Wanda to comfort her, to tell her everything's going to be alright. 

These thoughts lulled Wanda to sleep and she slept with thoughts of Pietro and Steve mingled into one bittersweet dream.

***

The following morning, Wanda had reset her alarm clock since she would no longer be needing to wake up early. The thought of running again with Steve after the disastrous events of yesterday suddenly did not seem so appealing. 

She then remembered that she had not eaten for nearly twenty-four hours. The immense hunger she was feeling made her decide to go out of her room and have breakfast.

Wanda stood in her bathroom mirror after she had showered and dressed. Absent-mindedly, her fingers traced the dark circles under her eyes that formed a contrast against her hauntingly pale skin. Her lips were chapped and colorless and the usual color on her cheeks were gone. She looked like she had been dead for some time. 

Wanda had slept an adequate amount of hours but the dehydration and lack of food mingled with the hours she spent crying made a huge difference to her appearance. 

Sighing, she grabbed a small bag in her drawer were her make-up kit was stashed. Natasha had insisted that she keep some makeup with her just in case they had to dress up for formal events or even during times when they had to disguise themselves. Personally, Wanda was not a big fan of makeup with the exception of mascara, eyeliner and the occasional lip gloss. She always reasoned that anything more than that made her feel like she was advertising herself. 

However, she didn't want the rest of the Avengers to look at her in horror. She was not self-conscious when it comes to her physical appearance but she knew that the team would know that something's been bothering her if they saw the hoerrendous circles under her eyes, and the last thing she needed was people asking her about her problems.

After Wanda had put a very light amount of concealer, blush-on and lip gloss, she went out of her room and made her way down the stairs leading to the dining room. 

She could already hear the voices of the Avengers as she made her way down. She could feel that Steve was with them but Wanda was so hungry at the moment that nothing could have made her turn around and go back to her room. 

However, as she reached the dining room, Wanda sensed a different yet familiar presence amongst the others. Her eyes flicked toward the end of the table where Steve was seated, and sure enough on his side was Sharon. They weren't eating, just sitting there witht the rest of the team. 

Steve met her eyes as she entered the room but quickly diverted his gaze. He then returned his attention back to the woman beside her and listened to whatever she was saying with seemingly feigned interest. 

"Finally joining us, then?" Natasha asked as Wanda sat down between Sam and Rhodey.

"Sorry, I was not feeling alright yesterday." She said vaguely with an apologetic half-smile. It was true, though. She definitely was not feeling alright. 

Steve tensed in his seat upon hearing her reply.

"Are you okay now? Because I heard on the news there's a new influenza virus thing going on." Sam quipped in with his mouth full of pancakes. 

"I'm fine now, Sam." Wanda smiled at her own lie. She deliberately met Steve's gaze as she said this. 

She put pancakes and eggs on her plate and took small, unenthusiastic bites. Her appetite had gone away again. 

Then, there was a soft 'ding' coming from the kitchen. Sam stood from his chair rather giddily upon hearing it. 

"That would be the muffins." 

He bolted from the table and went straight to kitchen. When he came back, he was holding a plate of steaming blueberry muffins, its smell reigniting Wanda's lost appetite.

" _Dang,_ " Rhodey stared unbelievingly at the perfect batch Sam was holding. "Since when did you become Bobby Flay?"

"An hour ago." Sam smirked proudly as he set down the muffins. 

Everyone looked at the delicious-looking muffins suspiciously. Everyone knew what Sam was capable of in the kitchen and this type of perfection was not it. 

"This is pretty good." Natasha commented, surprised, once she made her first bite. 

Sam almost scoffed. "Pretty good? Gordon Ramsay's muffins are _pretty good_. Mine are better, Romanoff."

"Okay, what's the secret?" Sharon asked teasingly at Sam who just shook his head with a smirk on his lips. 

"What, are you Plankton? There's no secret, Shar. It has to be made with love." 

Wanda was enjoying her muffin quietly, her eyes subtly gazing over to Steve. He had been listening to the conversation of the others but Wanda knew that his attention was focused on _not_ looking at her. She could hear his loud thoughts without even trying.

He was still conflicted, still guilty. 

She flicked her eyes back at him and saw Steve lean over to Sharon, his thumb flicking away the smallest of crumbs on the corner of her lips. Sharon smiled at him and whispered something, causing Steve to chuckle softly. They seemed to be in their own moment as if nothing else mattered but the two of them. 

Wanda watched the pair with growing hurt pricking at her chest. 

Natasha, Rhodey and Sam were talking about something in the background but she was not listening. It was only when she felt someone lightly touch her arm did she snap from her torturous thoughts. 

"Wanda?" Sam was looking at her weirdly. Nat and Rhodey also noticed her lack of focus and were giving her curious looks. 

"Uh...Sorry. What were you saying, Sam?" Wanda flushed as she realized that she'd been staring at Steve and Sharon for too long. 

"I said can you pass me the orange juice?"

She reached for the pitcher and gave it to Sam before shifting her attention back to her half-eaten food. 

"Thanks." Sam said but his eyes were trained on Natasha, clearly communicating silently. 

Natasha raised her brows lightly, puzzled by the younger woman's previous behavior. 

However, Natasha decided not to press more into it until she was certain for sure what had been bothering Wanda. The former knew exactly what the latter was capable of and the last thing she wanted was to get on Wanda's bad side. Besides, Wanda had only been an Avenger for a few months. It's understandable if she didn't trust anyone for her to open up to yet. 

Wanda continued picking at her food, only half-listening at the conversation Sam had started. She heard Steve's laughter and Sharon's and the sound of their voices together were like nails on a chalkboard to her. She couldn't stand their _happiness_ when she was a few feet away from them suffering. 

As Rhodey began telling a cringe-worthy joke, Wanda excused herself from the table and left the room.

After she had gone, Rhodey frowned in mock offense. "Are my jokes really _that_ bad?"

Sam leaned toward Natasha, and waited until Wanda was out of earshot before speaking. 

"Now, I'm _sure_ it's a love quarrel." He then turned to Rhodes and grinned. "And yeah, your jokes suck, man."

"Don't be absurd, Sam. She's not in a relationship with Vision. I don't even think she knows about his little crush on her." Natasha leaned back against her chair and took the last bite of her muffin.

"I didn't say it was Vision."

"You were _clearly_ implying it."

"That's enough." It was Steve, his voice ringing louder than the others. "Just let Wanda be. We're not in the position to be making assumptions."

Nobody said anything after that and Rhodey started another conversation with a slightly-more-humorous-but-pathetic-nonetheless joke, earning him a ton of mockery from Sam. 

This time, it was Steve who became unusually quiet throughout the rest of the conversation. He kept thinking about Wanda and the hurt in her eyes when she left the table. If this wasn't guilt he was feeling, Steve didn't know what was.

***  

The hologram projectiles swooped down from above in full acceleration. They were quick, but Wanda had learned how to be quicker. 

With her powers, she got hold of the projectiles and diverted their path, letting them hit the floor with realistic shattering sounds. She heard the telltale beep of Tony's simulation, letting her know that the next wave of projectiles were coming. 

She was more than ready when she saw neon-colored objects floating above her. Some of them were even shooting out lasers in a speed that resembles real bullets. 

One by one, she exploded each of them with ease. Scarlet wisps floated menacingly around her as she levitated in order to target the flying projectiles with more accuracy. Finally, when the last object had hit the floor, she landed gracefully in a sea of debris. The destroyed holograms then vanished as the simulation came to an end. 

_"Accuracy training level 5 complete."_

Wanda only gave herself a moment to catch her breath before she tightened her ponytail, ready to go again. 

"Go with level 6." She told the computer as she walked to the center of the room and relaxed her muscles. 

_"Commencing accuracy training level 6 in 3...2...1."_

New projectiles swooped down almost instantly but they were quicker and their movements more random. Wanda struggled to hit even a single one and she was getting frustrated at every missed hit she made. 

Her frustration took a toll in her focus and soon enough, a beam hit her on the shoulder with enough force that knocked her off her feet. She quickly got up and took cover but when she prepared herself to attack again, the holograms vanished as well as the simulation setting.  

"Even Tony has had troubles with level 6, you know."

Bewildered, her eyes flitted automatically to the control room. 

Steve was standing there by the computer, his hands still hovering on the keys. 

Wanda was surprised at seeing him, but she was also vaguely irritated at having her training interrupted. She walked over to him, hands rested on hips in trepidation. 

"I had that."

"I'm sure you did." He said as he pressed some keys on the computer making the whole system shut down. 

"I _did_. Now, if you'll let me get back on my training, I would very much appreciate it."

Wanda didn't know why Steve went to the training room but she wasn't in the mood for anything right now except finishing the accuracy simulations. It didn't matter what had transpired between the two of them. Steve couldn't just barge in and interrupt her whenever he pleased.

"There's a new lead on that arms dealer we've been chasing. We're having a team meeting in an hour. I suggest you get ready."

Wanda sighed and nodded. She didn't say anything more as she made her way toward the lockers, thinking that Steve would already be leaving right after. 

She was wrong. Steve remained standing on his spot, blue eyes following her movements. When she turned around to check if he had gone, Wanda was surprised when she saw him where he'd been standing.

"What are you still doing here?"

"I came here to talk to you." 

Steve walked toward her but left a considerable distance between them. 

Wanda tilted her head lightly. "What for? You've said all that you needed to say."

She shuddered when she heard the bitterness in her voice. Try as she might, she couldn't help but feel all the pain rushing back to her in excruciating waves. 

"Not all."

Wanda remained silent, urging for him continue. 

"Wanda, I didn't mean to hurt you." His voice was solemn and his eyes were sad. Wanda's heart ached even more at the genuine concern present in his tone. 

"What makes you think that I am?" Wanda tried to make her facade look real but failed. Her voice broke and her eyes had a sad gleam on them.

"It's obvious that you are."

"Well, I'm trying _not_ to be, Steve."

He shifted uncomfortably, struggling with putting to words what he was about to say next. 

"I... uh, just want you to know that I didn't invite Sharon over. She came this morning to give me the new case files."

Wanda's confusion that was written all over her face was genuine. "Why are you telling me that?"

"I don't want you to think that I'm doing this on purpose."

"Steve, I'm not thinking that."

She sensed the immense guilt eating away at his thoughts and all she wanted to do was take that conflict away from him. It was never his fault to start with-- if anything, it was her fault that they were in this mess. 

"I never wanted to cause you pain, Wanda. I never wanted _this_."

"I know. I'll get over it." Wanda said these words but she wasn't sure if she herself believed them. She smiled assuringly; an action that contradicted what she was feeling inside.

Steve took a cautious step forward. "I know it's pretty much useless but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you know that I had feelings for you. I should have kept that one in the dark."

"But do you really?" Wanda heard the slightest of desperation in her voice. "Do you really have feelings for me?"

"Wanda, you've been in my head. You know that-"

"Yes or no, Steve."

It took a second before Steve nodded, albeit a little hesitantly. 

"Yes."

Wanda expected to feel happy, even content but instead, she felt the pain return tenfold. It was as if hearing Steve's confirmation made her heart ache more for what she could never have.

She opened and closed her mouth as if to speak but found that no voice would come out. Her eyes traveled to his blue ones, then down to his lips. 

Suddenly, she was overcome by an overwhelming need to kiss him. It wasn't because of lust or _want_ but merely because she wanted to see if he would allow it or not. It was a selfish experimentation that she knew was wrong but continued to do nonetheless. 

Wanda moved closer, her eyes on his lips and rationality all but gone. She moved slowly, deliberately letting Steve know what she was going to do so he would have all the chance to stop her if he wanted to. 

However, Steve stood frozen as her lips connected with his in a light kiss. Wanda saw the shock, the surprise registered in his face as she pulled away. If there had been regret or anger, Wanda certainly didn't see it.

She looked away as the first wave of guilt passed through her. She was about to apologize for doing yet another stupid thing when she felt his hand on her cheek followed by the sensation of his lips reconnecting with hers.

Wanda didn't think. She was afraid that if she did, she would see the wrongness in what they were doing and force herself to stop. Instead, she acted with her instincts, inching closer to the warmth of his body and snaking her hand on the back of his neck.

It was wrong, but it felt right. 

The kiss deepened and Wanda almost melted in a puddle on the floor at the heat of it. It was gentle, yet passionate. She found the contrast intoxicating.

Wanda didn't even realize they were moving until her back hit her locker and his hands moving to her bare waist (having only worn a sports bra), pulling her as close as possible to him.

Her heart pounded against her ribcage. Her head swam, dizzy with his scent and the taste of his mouth. 

The pace slowed down and became more sensual. Wanda could definitely feel lust taking over now. She didn't want to stop, not yet, but something in her head was telling her to stop now before it goes any more further.

Wanda found that she couldn't pull away because she knew that if she did, she might never experience the experience of his lips on hers again. That thought was selfishly naive but she believed it either way. 

With all the effort she could muster, she broke the kiss, their gasps for air synchronizing for a second.

"What are we doing?" Steve whispered against her lips, breathless, his hands still on her waist. 

"Something we shouldn't." Wanda said almost inaudibly. 

She saw Steve's lips were red and swollen and the sight of them sparked an overwhelming rush of need course through her body. She put her hand on the nape of his neck, stroking the skin delicately with her thumb. Steve tilted his head to her hand and moved his head closer so that their lips were grazing. 

" _God_ , Wanda," Steve groaned before continuing the kiss, this time rougher, more desperate.

Wanda prayed that he would be the one to pull away because she knew that she wouldn't be able to. Her hands roamed around his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his shirt. As his hand gripped her waist tighter and an almost inaudible moan escape her lips, she was sure that she wanted Steve in a way that she didn't have the right to. 

But Steve was not stopping. It didn't look like he was planning to any time soon.

It was against Wanda's will but it had to be done. She pushed his chest with force just enough for him to break the kiss. Steve furrowed his brows, confused for a moment but his confusion turned to realization, and realization turned into horror. 

He let go of her waist and backed away a step. He ran his hands through his hair as the full intensity of regret took over his senses. 

"L-let's not make this any more worse, Steve." She finally said as tears stung her eyes. 

"Wanda, I'm _so_ sorry." 

It was all Steve could say, and it was all he ever had to say. Nothing that would come out of his mouth would ever undo the last few minutes.

Wanda turned her back to him, tears falling free from their confines. Her shoulders rose and fall from her quiet sobs and she suddenly felt as if she could never look Steve in the eyes again. How could she let herself stoop this low?

"I have to go." She suddenly heard Steve say, his hasty footsteps reverberating throughout the training room. Only when she heard the door shut did she let her sobs become not so quiet anymore. 

Those were angry tears coming out of her eyes. She was angry mostly at herself but partially to Steve. If only he had chosen her, she would not be feeling the regret and self-hatred she was feeling right now. If only Steve had listened to his heart, the kiss they shared would not be a sin.

 _If only_ , Wanda thought. But they were living in a reality where her _if only's_ don't exist. 

Her reality's disappointing. 

As she stood there with the taste of him still in her mouth, Wanda could only cry pathetically because what else can you do when you had what you want but not in the way you wanted?


End file.
